Baby Showers Are Out… It’s Time to Change the Narrative.
For decades, baby showers have been a rite of passage: pastel decorations, diaper cakes, and mountains of tiny onesies. They’re sweet, sentimental, and Instagram-ready - and as a first-time mom, sooooo exciting! But let’s be honest: they aren’t really about the person who matters most. The mom.
Instead, the focus is on presents, games, and celebrating the baby - leaving the woman at the center of it all overlooked. And while the contribution of gifts and baby items is helpful financially, frankly, while fun to buy and give, more cute outfits aren’t going to make a difference postpartum, when they’re only worn once or twice before being packed away in a storage bin, never to be seen again.
Motherhood is one of life’s most profound transformations. Yet the traditional baby shower rarely acknowledges that. Maybe this is why so many moms struggle in their matrescence… we’re left blindsided by the realities of life postpartum. What if we could do more to support new moms? What if we could start putting moms first, even before baby is born? What if celebration looked like preparation, connection, and community? Because really, they’re the most important person is all of this.
It’s time for a cultural reset. Enter two modern alternatives that actually set mothers up for success: The Nesting Party and The Mother Circle.
Option 1: The Nesting Party
No more sitting watching the opening of another Jellycat bunny, thinking you’ve done your part. Think of The Nesting Party as a baby shower’s far more useful cousin.
A Nesting Party is a hands-on, community-powered gathering where friends and family come together to do the things that actually matter before a baby arrives. Instead being a guest at the party and stuffing your face with cupcakes, everyone pitches in.
What a Nesting Party can include:
Batch cooking freezer-friendly meals for postpartum weeks
Energy Ball making station… bring all the ingredients and let your guests get creative.
Cleaning and organizing key areas of the home
Setting up practical stations (diaper changing, feeding, pumping, self-care)
Preparing a postpartum power station stocked with snacks, water bottles, nursing supplies, and comfort items
Running errands or assembling baby gear so it’s one less mental load for the mom
So rubber gloves and cleaning supplies might not be so glamorous. But it’s wildly effective.
A Nesting Party sends a clear message: you don’t have to do this alone. It transforms support from a vague promise into tangible action - and gives moms something far more valuable than another onesie: breathing room. And hopefully unlimited snacks.
Option 2: The Mother Circle
Where the Nesting Party supports the logistics, the Mother Circle supports the woman. It’s rooted in the concept of matrescence - the deep physical, emotional, and identity shift that happens when a woman becomes a mother. Because really, the baby isn’t the only one being born.
This option might give off more of a “hippy” vibe, but it really doesn’t have to be. There’s lots of options to add prompts, creativity, and sharing to make it more interactive, practical, and fun. The format is flexible, but the focus is always on supporting the mom. A typical Mother Circle might include:
Honest Storytelling: Experienced moms share their journeys - the highs, the lows, and the lessons learned. This fosters solidarity and normalizes the challenges of early motherhood.
Support Mapping & Resource Sharing: Guests help the mom build her village - signing up for meal trains, childcare swaps, or sharing all their favourite local postpartum resources, or hacks to help run a household more efficiently.
Letters of Encouragement: Guests write or create notes, affirmations, or advice for the mom to open in those long, challenging nights. You could create “Open When…” envelope prompts to help get her through those tough moments.
Practical Gifts: Instead of tiny socks and onesies, moms receive thoughtful items that actually support her well-being - massages, meal deliveries, or grocery gift cards.
Reflection Space: Moms are invited to set intentions, share hopes, and acknowledge fears - giving the transition into motherhood the mindfulness it deserves.
This isn’t about advice or fixing. It’s about setting her up for success… feeling supported and empowered by her community at the threshold of a major life shift. And in an era where moms are terrible at asking for help (myself included), it sets a precedence… and it leaves her with tools, friendships, and a community she can lean on - long after the circle ends.
Why It Matters
Baby showers were born in an era of consumer culture, when the best way to support a new mom was thought to be a pile of gifts. Honestly, they’re outdated. Modern mothers need more than stuff - they deserve presence, practical help, and a space to reflect and acknowledge the monumental shift they are undergoing. This is a tradition worth keeping.
We know that when mothers feel seen, supported, and prepared, the benefits ripple outwards: stronger families, healthier postpartum adjustment, and a more resilient community of parents. So, it’s time to retire the diaper cake. The real celebration belongs to her.
P.S. Every Nesting Party and Mother’s Circle must end with a toast. To the mom. (OK I might’ve made this up… but I think it should be official). Cheers mama!
