When You’re Caring for Everyone Else, Let Postpartum Therapy Be a Place for You
This guest post is written by Jess Preston, Registered Clinical Counsellor & Clinical Director at Reverie Therapy.
The Hidden Side of Postpartum
Many parents feel pressure to look like they are “doing great,” smiling through exhaustion, physical recovery, and emotional ups and downs. Beneath the surface, though, it is common to feel overwhelmed, anxious, low in mood, or caught in intrusive thoughts. You may be processing a difficult birth, struggling to connect with your baby or partner, or feeling overstimulated and “touched-out.”
Postpartum mental health challenges do not always look the way we expect, and they can affect anyone, regardless of how together things appear on the outside. Feeling this way does not mean you are weak or failing. It means you are human, navigating one of life’s most profound transitions. Support can make a meaningful difference.
Birth Trauma: An Experience Many Don’t Talk About
Birth does not always unfold as planned. When an experience feels frightening, unpredictable, or invalidating, it can leave lasting emotional impacts. Many people hesitate to name their experience as “traumatic,” even when symptoms show up as:
Feeling on edge or jumpy
Flashbacks or unwanted memories
Avoidance of certain places or conversations
Difficulty bonding postpartum
Persistent sadness, guilt, or anxiety
These reactions are common and understandable. Naming them can be the first step toward healing.
How to Know When Counselling Might Be the Right Step
Not everyone needs therapy, but many parents benefit from having a protected space that is focused entirely on them. Counselling might be helpful if you are noticing:
Emotional Signs
Persistent sadness or irritability
Anxiety that feels hard to manage
Feeling “not like yourself”
Guilt, resentment, or emotional numbness
Physical or Sensory Signs
Constant overstimulation
Fatigue that goes beyond sleep deprivation
Feeling tense, on edge, or easily startled
Relationship Signs
Increased conflict or misunderstanding with a partner
Difficulty asking for help
Feeling isolated even around supportive people
Internal Signs
A sense that something feels “off”
Wanting a place to talk without judgment
Feeling depleted from caring for everyone else
If any of these feel familiar, therapy can offer grounding, clarity, and support, even if you are not in crisis.
Finding a Counsellor Who’s the Right Fit
The relationship between you and your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes. Consider looking for:
1. Perinatal or Postpartum Experience
A counsellor trained in perinatal mental health will understand the unique hormonal, emotional, relational, and identity shifts of this season.
2. Trauma-Informed Practice
This ensures that your therapist approaches your story with safety, gentleness, pacing, and collaboration.
3. A Style That Feels Good to You
Do you prefer someone warm and reflective? Structured and skills-based? Collaborative and conversational? You are encouraged to be selective.
4. Accessibility and Format
Think about what would make therapy do-able, such as in-person sessions, online sessions, flexibility with scheduling, or shorter appointments.
A first session or brief consultation can help you get a sense of fit before committing.
What Early Sessions Often Focus On
The first few sessions rarely dive into everything at once. They often start gently, with space to settle in and share what feels most pressing. Common first steps include:
Making Sense of Your Birth Story: Exploring what happened, what was unexpected, and what still lingers emotionally.
Identifying Support Gaps: Looking at where you are overwhelmed and where more support, internal or external, could ease things.
Understanding Your Nervous System: Learning why overstimulation, anxiety, or shutdown happens and how to bring your system back into steadiness.
Tools and Strategies: Early strategies may include:
Grounding techniques for overwhelm
Communication skills with partners or family
Boundary-setting without guilt
Reshaping expectations of yourself in early parenthood
Creating a Space That’s Just for You
Sometimes the most healing part of therapy is simply one protected hour where you do not have to care for anyone but yourself.
When you’re ready, support Is available. Therapy can be a meaningful way to feel seen, understood, and supported, whether you are days, months, or years into parenthood. It is never too late to reach out for help, and you deserve care just as much as the people you care for.
Jess Preston
Jess Preston, MA, RCC, is a Registered Clinical Counsellor working with clients across the Greater Vancouver area. Her clinical practice at Reverie Therapy focuses on perinatal mental health, trauma informed care, and support for individuals and couples.
