A single moment that changes it all…

Matrescence Tales

Matrescence Tales

Written by MA

When was your baby born?

March 2025

Where was your baby born?

BC Women’s

Can you share your birth story?

I was eight days overdue and very ready to not be pregnant anymore. I had already had two cervical sweeps and still wasn’t showing any dilation. After the second sweep, my midwife jokingly suggested eating pineapple. I took it seriously and ate almost an entire one.

That night around midnight, about thirty minutes after falling asleep, my water broke. While this is how it happens in the movies, it’s actually uncommon for labour to begin this way, so it was surprising that contractions hadn’t started yet. About thirty minutes later, they did, intense but short. I moved between a yoga ball and the shower with hot water on my back, and four hours later we headed to the hospital.

It had been an extremely busy birthing weekend, and the hospital was full and short-staffed. When we arrived, we were given two options: go home with medication and rest, or stay in triage with no pain relief and wait for a room. I couldn’t imagine getting back in the car, so I stayed and used nitrous oxide. I was just under four centimetres dilated. A little after 9 a.m., a birthing room opened and I was admitted. By then I was six centimetres dilated, exhausted, and uncomfortable. I chose to get an epidural so I could rest, but once monitoring began, it became clear my baby was in some distress as his heart rate dropped with each contraction. Instead of resting, I had to rotate from side to side every five minutes to keep him stable, while remaining continuously monitored. By 2 p.m., I was fully dilated and ready to push. After thirty minutes, it was clear my baby was stuck, wedged against my pelvic bone. Multiple midwives and OBs attempted to assist, but a C-section became the only option. After a few emotional moments, we were taken to the operating room.

During surgery, my contractions intensified and the baby moved further into the birth canal, becoming stuck. A larger incision was needed, along with nitroglycerin to stop my muscles from contracting. When the anesthesiologist administered the higher dose, my body went limp and I stopped breathing briefly. At that same moment, my son was delivered and initially wasn’t breathing either. He was taken to the paediatric team, where he took his first breath and was placed into his dad’s arms.

About twenty minutes later, I had skin-to-skin with him on the operating table, and about an hour post-op he latched and began feeding. We were officially a family of three. While nothing unfolded the way I imagined, the experience gave me a profound trust in my body, my care team, and my ability to adapt when it mattered most.

What do you wish you had known going into the birth? What are you proud of?

It’s said all the time, but until you are in it, you really don’t know. You can make a birth plan and understand intellectually that you can’t control everything, but I don’t think you fully grasp just how much is out of your control and not always in a bad way. The female body is truly incredible, and the practitioners at BC Women’s Hospital are amazing. Even though birth rarely goes to plan, it is unbelievably beautiful and special. After giving birth, my appreciation for all mothers — which was already high — deepened even further.

I ended up needing an emergency C-section, and there were complications. While this was a significant deviation from what I imagined my birth story would look like, I am incredibly proud of how I handled it. I have no regrets.

What did the first few days/weeks look like? Emotionally/mentally/physically. Any tips you could share?

I know this is not always the case, but I felt entirely blissful in the first few weeks. I could not believe my husband and I had made this perfect little human. The love is overwhelming (in the best possible way).

Even alongside all of those incredible emotions, I remember sitting at the dinner table about six days postpartum and suddenly bursting into tears. I couldn’t stop or explain why. The hormonal shift is intense, very real, and very normal. And I think it needs to be talked about more.

Breastfeeding, even when your milk comes in and your baby latches well, is still hard and uncomfortable at first. Ask as many questions as you can. Have your positioning checked by anyone qualified to offer feedback. Lanolin was a lifesaver for my nipples, and silverettes brought me a lot of relief in the early weeks.

My biggest piece of advice is to get outside as much as possible. Even ten minutes a day makes a huge difference for both you and your baby. Movement really is medicine. Because I was so confident I would have a vaginal birth, I knew very little about C-section recovery. Thankfully, Amazon exists, and I was able to order Frida C-section recovery supplies, which made a big difference. Four days postpartum, I started taking daily walks. They were painfully slow at first, but each day I went a little farther and a little faster. This helped me recover emotionally, mentally, and physically.

How have you found the transition to motherhood? What has been the hardest part?

Right before giving birth, I started to feel overwhelmed knowing my identity was about to shift and that there was nothing I could do to stop it. I loved my job and derived a lot of self-worth from my career, so taking a year away felt daunting.

What I didn’t know was how much could change in a single moment when you meet your baby. It truly feels like nothing else matters.

Now, almost a year postpartum and newly back at work, it’s been incredible to re-engage a different part of my brain and see how my priorities have evolved. I am still a career woman, but I am a mom first — and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

What is one thing you wish you had known going into postpartum? Any other tips/advice for our moms?

The first few days are overwhelming, but we are evolutionarily designed to figure it out. It does get easier but feeding, sleep, and routines are rarely linear, and that is completely okay. You’ll find your groove, and then your baby will change and need something new. Lean on your community. Ask for help. Use the resources available to you — the internet, Amazon, professionals, and your extended benefits. If you’re in BC, you have six weeks of postpartum care covered: go to all the appointments and make sure you are being checked, not just your baby. Pelvic floor physio, massage, and postpartum support make a real difference.

Look for free mother groups and parenting sessions in your community. Some days will feel like Groundhog Day, and others won’t. All of it is normal and all of it is part of the beautiful parenting journey.

How do you feel like your identity has shifted? What strategies have helped re-connect with yourself?

One of the hardest shifts has been learning selflessness in a new way. You have to be intentional about caring for yourself while also keeping a tiny human alive. Leaning on your partner is essential. It won’t always be equal or fair, but it does need to work for you and your family.

I found that choosing activities I could do for myself while also including my baby helped immensely. Going to the gym is important to me, so finding a strength program where moms could bring their babies made me feel like myself again. I also get eyelash extensions. Having one guaranteed baby-free hour each month helped me reconnect with myself in a simple but meaningful way.

What are you proud of so far in your motherhood journey?

I’m proud of trusting my instincts and not worrying too much. I’m not generally an anxious person, and I’ve been able to carry that into parenthood. I try not to sweat the small stuff and remind myself that every baby is unique. If something isn’t working, we get creative and try something else.

My partner and I know our baby best. I’m also proud of how I’ve made time for myself while still putting my son first. He is the center of my life, but I don’t feel consumed by it and that balance is what works for our family. I've always wanted to be a mum but it is even better than I thought it would be!❤️